Blog posts! You’re reading one. No-one does blog posts any more, do they? It’s all insta-stories (ed: is this right?) and WhatsApp groups spreading rumours about the death of Cliff Richard, leading to riots in the Tunbridge Wells area.
But we here at Next Level Sketch are going to bring blog posts back into the zeitgeist, as we write regularly to poke at you about all the brilliant things we’re doing and all the cool things we’ve noticed. Within a few months of our writing here blog posts will be as cool Vienetta, and as funky as James Browns’ A Funky Christmas.
I suppose the first thing I should say is maybe you’ve dragged your eyes through the first couple of paragraphs expecting useful information and are now angry at me that you haven’t received any? Well, why not head over to our info page that explains who we are (we’re sketch writers and performers!) and what we do (we put on sketch comedy nights at Hoopla in London on the last Tuesday of every month!). (Ed – do we have those pages yet? No? Alright then.)
We’re super, super excited about our night. We are graduates of assorted Hoopla courses who had a lovely time writing and performing sketches, and were left bereft when these courses and performances ended. We sat around, broken, in pubs. What do we do now? Where can we possibly go from here? And then the answer came to us: write and perform more sketches, and put together a super-inclusive and encouraging writers’ group where people who want more experience of writing and editing sketches can give each other feedback in a mutually gratifying environment.
Like the sound of this? Want to be one of us? Get in touch!
Now we’ve got that out the way I wanted to talk about the important issue: Christmas cards. Now there’s a guy I know and you probably know too called Geoff, and he sends me a Christmas card every year. Sweet, right? He’s a nice guy.
But each card just says “To James, Merry Christmas. From Geoff”. And I find it infuriating. Why go through all that effort of picking a nice card, buying a stamp from the stamp shop, remembering and then writing down my address, if all you’re going to write is “To James”, “Merry Christmas”, and “From Geoff” in it? And sometimes he doesn’t even write Merry Christmas, because that’s been put in by “The Man” who has printed the card.
All that empty space. All that wasted opportunity to write profundity or nonsense. All those little words that never came into being. Oh Geoff.
So when I write Christmas cards I think of Geoff, and I ensure not a single space is wasted. I write on the back of the envelope. I fill every inch of the inside with words and crude drawings. I cast aspersions. I address the card to his parents, so they get to read it first. In short, I do absolutely everything I can to ensure the “dark energy” produced by Geoff’s card laziness is counteracted by the “darker energy” I produce in my timewasting communiques. And besides, I’ve known Geoff since the Berlin Wall came down and he wouldn’t expect anything different.
I love Geoff really and everything here is just a desperate cry for help. I just wish he’d acknowledge my devotion.
Anyway! Welcome to our lovely website and I look forward to writing many more blog posts for you in future. You can’t stop me.